The #SHORTYELLOWPENCILRX BACK-TO-SCHOOL Survival Guide with Bonus Downloads—For Grandparents Parenting Grandchildren (and Basically Anyone Raising a Teenager With ADHD)
- Amber Weigand-Buckley
- Aug 13
- 5 min read
Go figure?!! Apparently, “Did you remember?” is not a sustainable strategy when you are plunged into the role of parenting. Especially when you’re talking to a teenager with ADHD. Or, let’s be honest (and I speak for myself), especially when YOU also have ADHD.
Welcome to back-to-school season. The backpacks are multiplying. The school emails are breeding. Nobody knows where their shoes are. Someone has a water bottle that has apparently become a science experiment. And somewhere in the house there is a permission slip that was due three days ago.
Take a breath. We’re not going for perfect. We’re going for functional-ish. That’s the #ShortYellowPencilRX way.
FIRST THING: STOP EXPECTING THE ADHD BRAIN TO WORK LIKE YOUR BRAIN.
If your teenager could simply remember to remember…
they probably would.
ADHD isn’t a character flaw.
It’s not laziness.
It’s not “they don’t care.”
And it’s definitely not fixed by saying:
“I JUST TOLD YOU THAT.”
For the love of all things caffeinated…
we need a better system.
THE WEEK BEFORE SCHOOL
We’re going to practice the chaos BEFORE the chaos begins.
1. Start moving bedtime.
Don’t wait until Sunday night to announce:
“School starts tomorrow. GO TO BED.”
That’s how you get a teenager staring at the ceiling at midnight wondering why they’re suddenly concerned about dinosaurs. Start moving bedtime and wake-up time toward the school schedule.
A little at a time. We’re easing the brain into reality.
2. HAVE A PRACTICE MORNING.
Yep.
Practice.
Have them get up.
Get dressed.
Eat.
Get their stuff together.
Find their shoes.
Find their backpack.
And actually leave the house.
TIME IT.
Not to shame them. To find the potholes. Because if it takes 42 minutes to find socks in a practice run…we probably shouldn’t schedule the real morning around 27 minutes. That’s not optimism.
That’s fiction.
3. CREATE A LAUNCH PAD.
One place.
One spot.
The backpack goes there.
Shoes go there.
Keys go there.
Chromebook goes there.
Sports bag goes there.
Whatever has to leave the house tomorrow goes there.
Because if everything has a home…
we have a fighting chance.
If everything is scattered around the house…
Welcome to Find My Stuff: The Teenager Edition.
THE NIGHT-BEFORE RULE
TOMORROW’S PROBLEMS BELONG TO TONIGHT.
Before bed:
☐ Backpack packed
☐ Homework checked
☐ Chromebook charged
☐ Clothes picked out
☐ Shoes located
☐ Lunch/snacks ready
☐ Sports/activity stuff ready
☐ Papers signed
☐ Alarm set
☐ Everything needed tomorrow at the launch pad
And here’s the big one:
DON’T MAKE THE TEENAGER REMEMBER THE LIST. PUT THE LIST WHERE THEY CAN SEE IT.
As a bonus you can download the #shortyellowpencilRX checklists —One for you and your student at the end of this post.
ADHD brains often need the invisible to become visible.
THE MORNING
Please don’t make yourself the human Siri.
You shouldn’t have to stand in the hallway shouting:
“BRUSH YOUR TEETH.”
“GET DRESSED.”
“WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?”
“DID YOU EAT?”
“WHERE IS YOUR BACKPACK?”
“WE HAVE TO LEAVE!”
“WHY ARE YOU STILL IN THE BATHROOM?”
By 8:07 you’ve become a motivational speaker nobody asked for.
Instead…
MAKE THE ROUTINE THE BOSS.
WAKE UP
☐ Alarm ☐ Feet on floor ☐ Bathroom ☐ Get dressed
GET MOVING
☐ Eat ☐ Medication, if prescribed ☐ Brush teeth ☐ Hair ☐ Deodorant
LAUNCH
☐ Backpack ☐ Phone ☐ Chromebook ☐ Lunch ☐ Shoes ☐ Keys
OUT THE DOOR.
And instead of:
“Did you remember everything?”
Try:
“Check your launch list.”
We’re not trying to raise adults who need Mom, Dad, Grandma or Grandpa following them around with a clipboard. We’re trying to build independence with scaffolding.
AFTER SCHOOL
This part matters.
Your teenager may walk through the door carrying an entire school day in their brain.
So maybe don’t immediately hit them with:
“Did you do your homework?”
Try:
“How’s your brain?”
Give them a little time to land.
Snack.
Water.
A little decompression.
Maybe movement.
Then…
Let’s figure out what actually needs doing.
HOMEWORK
Whatever you do…
DON’T JUST SAY: “GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK.”
That’s not one task.
That’s approximately 47 tasks wearing a trench coat.
Instead ask:
“What’s due first?”
Then:
“What’s the first tiny step?”
Not:
“Do your history project.”
Try:
“Open the history assignment.”
Then:
“What does it actually ask you to do?”
Then:
“What’s the first part?”
Tiny steps count.
Starting counts.
Progress counts.
THE SUNDAY RESET—20 MINUTES.
That’s it.
Grab the calendar.
Grab a snack.
Grab coffee.
And ask:
“What’s on your plate this week?”
Look at:
☐ Tests
☐ Projects
☐ Assignments
☐ Practices
☐ Games
☐ Appointments
☐ Work
☐ Church
☐ Social stuff
☐ Anything unusual
Then ask the magic question:
“What’s the thing most likely to sneak up on you?”
THAT’S the thing we’re planning for.
GRANDMA & GRANDPA—THIS PART IS FOR YOU.
If you’re raising a grandchild with ADHD, you may sometimes feel like you have become:
the alarm clock, the calendar, the homework app, the lost-and-found department, the school secretary, the snack coordinator, and the person who knows where everybody’s shoes are.
You don’t have to be all of those things forever.
Your job isn’t to remember everything for them.
Your job is to help them learn how to build systems that eventually help them remember things for themselves.
So instead of:
“Did you do your assignment?”
Try:
“Show me your system.”
Instead of:
“You’re going to be late!”
Try:
“What does your morning checklist say?”
Instead of:
“I have told you this 900 times!”
Try:
“Okay. Clearly the system isn’t working. Let’s fix the system.”
Because sometimes the problem isn’t the kid.
Sometimes… the system just needs a little #ShortYellowPencilRX.
AND THEN THERE WILL BE AN “OH NO.”
There always is.
The missing project.
The forgotten permission slip.
The Chromebook that wasn’t charged.
The shoe that has apparently entered witness protection.
The teenager who announces at 10:48 p.m.:
“Oh. I need poster board tomorrow.”
DO NOT PANIC.
Okay.
You can panic for approximately 11 seconds.
Then:
“Okay. What’s our next step?”
Solve the immediate problem.
Then tomorrow…fix the system. Not the kid. The system.
THE #SHORTYELLOWPENCILRX RULE
We don’t confuse ADHD with laziness.
We don’t confuse struggle with failure.
And we don’t confuse needing support with being incapable.
Sometimes independence doesn’t mean:
“You do it completely by yourself.”
Sometimes independence means:
“You know what support you need and where to find it.”
That’s a skill, too.
SO HERE’S OUR BACK-TO-SCHOOL GOAL:
Not perfect.
Not Pinterest-worthy.
Not color-coded down to the molecular level.
Just…
Prepared-ish.
Organized-ish.
Rested-ish.
Fed-ish.
On time-ish.
And preferably…
Everyone leaves the house wearing pants. Honestly? That’s a win.
Click Here to Download the Grandparents Printable
Click Here to Download the Teen Printable
Amber Weigand-Buckley—a #shortyellowpencil girl living in a neurotypical world—is an Amazon #1 bestselling, award-winning author and founding editor of Leading Hearts magazine,
Her new book, #SisterhoodoftheShortYellowPencils: Mental Health Mayhem One Sticky Note at a Time, is ultimately a book about capacity—what happens when yours runs out faster than everyone else's, and why that was never something to be ashamed of. She hosts multiple podcasts including #RandomDevoThoughts and lives in Springfield, Missouri. Find out more at shortyellowpencilrx.com.
#ShortYellowPencilRX: Life goes mental. So do we. Let's Laugh About it
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